I find myself wanting to stay in. 

I find myself not feeling to talk to everyone. 

I find myself feeling to exhibit hermit like qualities.
I used to want to go out.

I used to want to talk.
My birthday is next Saturday.

I am okay with doing nothing. At least I think I am.

Only time will tell.




I don’t got it.

It seems to me that everyone has confidence in me.

Everyone except me of course.

They say “you got this!”, “you know this!” and then they ask how it went, in the hopes of hearing or seeing because everything is texted these days, “I crushed it!”, “I made it my bitch!”

If we were playing Never Have I Ever, I would have been extremely parched for a drink.

I don’t got it.


How do I get it?


It’s how I cannot say no. 

Everyone else can say no, nothing is said when they say no. No reaction is shown when they say no. 

They are expected to say no, therefore I am asked.

Even when I say no, I am asked again.

There is a reaction when I say no.

Therefore I do not say no.

I am

I am a depressed little shit.

A dreary personality.

A withdrawn individual.

Don’t know when those became my more prominent traits but there it is.

Dream 3

Recently I find myself dreaming in my sleep. It was so infrequent before; that the shear amount of them is freaky now.

Last night I had a dream about Stiles.

Why would I dream about him? 




I wanna go out.

I hate being at the whims and fancies of others.
I wanna go out.

Who do I call?

Who do I tell?

No one.

I wanna go out.


I miss them. Right at this second, I miss them a lot.

Maybe it is overthinking, maybe it is because I am writing, but I miss them.