No

It’s how I cannot say no. 

Everyone else can say no, nothing is said when they say no. No reaction is shown when they say no. 

They are expected to say no, therefore I am asked.

Even when I say no, I am asked again.

There is a reaction when I say no.

Therefore I do not say no.

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I am

I am a depressed little shit.

A dreary personality.

A withdrawn individual.

Don’t know when that became my more prominent traits but there it is.

Dream 3

Recently I find myself dreaming in my sleep. It was so infrequent before; that the shear amount of them is freaky now.

Last night I had a dream about Stiles.

Why would I dream about him? 

Why?

😒

Wanna

I wanna go out.

I hate being at the whims and fancies of others.
I wanna go out.

Who do I call?

Who do I tell?

No one.

I wanna go out.

Miss

I miss them. Right at this second, I miss them a lot.

Maybe it is overthinking, maybe it is because I am writing, but I miss them.

Right now feels

I feel so terrible.

“Yeah, smalls.” was the response to my “I’m so sorry 😔”

I was the reason they did not see their baby cousin for the first time.

I really feel terrible. 

It was because I had to be an inconvenience to be driven home.

I do not think I will be going much places again. 

I do not like feeling like this.

Right now feels.

Terrible.

Do not know 

I do not know if I am okay at this second.

I do not know what I will be.

I do not know what I want.

I do not know the purpose.

I do not know why. 

I do not know a lot of things and they seem to be piling up and the pile is towering over me and it’s scary and it gets me emotional and sometimes I feel like stopping. 

Going somewhere else. 

Uninhibited. 

Uncaring. 

I do not know if I am okay at this second.